The Earth According To Gideon

Gideon's at it again. That's never a good thing! This time out he is dragging Zebah and Rigel to Earth, that backward rock layered with smelly humans. His goal, as always, is to get rich quick without falling back on any legal tools to do so. Gideon, Gideon. Where on Earth is the money? Washington, DC, of course. So Gideon goes there to wrangle his share from the hands and pockets of elected officials. Yeah, good luck with that one, chump. But, he does spawn quite the disturbance of confusion and humor, so it's all worth the bother. If at first you don't succeed, open a bank, right? Our sorry-excuse-for-a-hero tries that next. Oh, the financial system will never be the same. Please stuff your money into your mattress. It'll be safer there than where Gideon is hunting. When all else fails, is it worth it to ge an honest job and work for a living? Gideon tries, he really does. The world of fast food will never be the same. Heck, the world will never be the same based on his record. Bad Gideon! Do not declare apocalypses! Stop it right this instant. What is the one tried-and-true way to make lots of unofficial money? Import/exporting. Sure. It's a tale as old as dirt. But, when Gideon gets into that dirt--you got it, mud will happen. Oh the pain. The only thing that's for certain when Gideon tries to scam us humans is that you will laugh. Oh yes. You will laugh ...