David Bruce

The Funniest People in Families, Volume 4 David Bruce

This book contains 250 anecdotes, including these two: ) Susie Essman plays the foul-mouthed Susie Greene on the HBO comedy series "Curb Your Enthusiasm." Her tirades, which are many, are filled with profanity delivered in many original and colorful ways-she rivals the foul-mouthed Jay of "Jay and Silent Bob" fame in her talent for profanity. She uses this talent of hers in real life; in fact, her family uses "Susie Greene" as a verb. For example, while she and her 16-year-old daughter were walking on Broad-way, a creep grabbed her daughter's bottom. Ms. Essman says, "Oh, he got so Susie Greened, I can't even tell you-I went crazy on him!" After proper and just revenge had been exacted on the creep, her daughter said to her, "Y'know, you just Susie Greened him." Ms. Essman replied, "Let that be a lesson for you! You Susie Greene any-body who ever does that to you!" 2) This is one of the best practical jokes I have ever heard about: There is (or used to be) a restaurant in Denver, Colorado, where a statue of a naked man wearing nothing but a fig leaf is placed in the ladies room. Beside the statue is a sign saying, "Caution: Do not touch figleaf." Whenever a lady touches the figleaf, a bell rings inside the restau-rant.